I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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