well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
