I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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