I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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