Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
