Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't turn off my feet"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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