remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
