wanna go halves on a baby?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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