I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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