walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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