I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
