I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
