i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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