I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
