Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
