ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
