did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
