his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
