I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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