I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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