last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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