Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
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I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.