My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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