Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i only shaved half my leg
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..