Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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