Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im having a threesome with these popsicles
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
