Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
