My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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