Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
