Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
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I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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