Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
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had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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