A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize