it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
