haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
