just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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