Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
