what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
