Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize