all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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