I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
