my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
