I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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