I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
