you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
