Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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