I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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