I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
