So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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