a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
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