This girl is more easily done than said...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
