we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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