Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
