found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The beers last night were like the tears from god
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I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
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You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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