How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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