She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
