the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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