lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
