I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
