I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize