Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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