is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
