sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
