So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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