Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
