Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
