no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
