woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize